Why My Virtue Chart Matters
Updated: 5 days ago
Dear Friend,
Have you ever reached the end of a busy day and felt like you were simply dragged through it by endless demands?
Raising kids today brings real challenges—navigating technology, social media comparison, chaotic schedules, and fragmented attention. It also brings real questions: How do we order our family’s life around what truly matters? How do we create meaningful traditions that will stand the test of time, and that will lead us all to heaven?
There is one thing that points us in the right direction: virtue. Virtue comes from the Greek word for “excellence” and the bigger idea of fulfilling one's ultimate potential. When a family embraces virtue as something to love and be proud of, the members start excelling in what matters above all else—building holy habits of the heart—and becoming who God made them to be.
My Virtue Chart is something I invented for my own family. As a busy mom of three children (toddler to early grade school), I was looking for a way to encourage goodness without constant negotiation or material rewards. So I created a poster with glitter, saint stickers, and virtues like patience, kindness, and self-control.
When my children did a good deed, they earned a sticker, aiming for three each day. The stickers represented the jewels and stars we earn on our heavenly crowns through everyday acts of love. What started as a simple tradition for our home quickly became something family, friends, and even FaceTime visitors commented on and encouraged me to share with others.
This chart is more than a behavior tool. It is a simple, hands-on way for parents, grandparents, and teachers to help children grow in holy habits of the heart.
The Deeper Purpose: A School of Love and a Rule of Life
The early Christians stood out because their habits were different from the world around them, and that attracted others to Christ. Monasteries later formalized this through a “rule of life,” and often called the monastery a schola amoris, which means a “school of love”—a spiritual training ground for growing in divine love, humility, and virtue.
Your family is also a school of love. We are not merely raising children, we are raising adults—competent, conscientious, caring Christians.
A “rule” is not rigid or joyless. The word comes from the Latin word for trellis or framework, something that supports and holds things upright so they can flourish and stand strong.
Without shaping our own rule, it’s easy to be pulled along by the rule of the world—endless screen time, busy schedules, consumerism, and constant distraction. These things can slowly leave us feeling disconnected and far from what matters most.
The beautiful news is that it is possible to establish new, life-giving habits—even starting today—because God is still at work in us (Philippians 1:6).
The Power of Modeling and the Perfection Trap
Children learn far more from what we do than what we say. As the old Aesop’s Fable reminds us, a mother crab cannot teach her child to walk straight if she herself walks sideways. The call is the same for all of us—whether you’re a parent, grandparent, teacher, or caregiver: model Christ’s love as best you can.
We are not aiming for perfect parenting or flawless children. Research shows that the pressure to maintain a “culture of achievement” contributes to burnout, with nearly 60 percent of parents feeling burned out according to a nationwide survey (footnote 1).
That's why My Virtue Chart is about growth in virtue, not perfection. In fact, there are no perfect families—only redeemed families. My Virtue Chart helps form holy habits of the heart that shape how we understand our worth as precious children of God, and then flow outward in the way we treat others with kindness and etiquette, build healthy relationships, and live with integrity.
How It Works
Over 28-days, everyone in the family, children and adults alike, can earn jewel and star stickers up to three times a day for practicing different virtues. These stickers represent the jewels and stars added to our heavenly crown through acts of love. The visual progress makes virtue something the whole family talks about, notices, and celebrates together.
A 28-Day Journey Builds Momentum
While research shows that new habits often take around two months to become automatic, this shorter journey gives families a practical and achievable place to begin.
Many families love the experience so much that they return to My Virtue Chart again and again, making it an ongoing practice that continues to shape their hearts and home. Consistent daily practice—even when imperfect—is what matters most.
What’s Included in My Virtue Chart Kit
18×24 full-color virtue chart with saints paired to each virtue
Full set of jewel and star stickers
Premium holy card deck featuring the stories of the saints on the chart
Virtue Cards for daily reflections on the virtues, with over 100 everyday ideas of how to show love to Jesus and others
Certificate of completion (to display!)
Celebration crown
Caregiver guide to make it easy
Packed in a kraft box with ribbon that says: "You can be a saint too."
Chart ships rolled in a separate tube
The 3 R’s of My Virtue Chart: RULE • REWARD • REDEMPTION
RULE
Use My Virtue Chart and daily Virtue Cards to create a consistent family framework—a “rule” that helps you live intentionally for Christ, and one another.
The following framework is an intentional way to start your day by connecting with Jesus through the intercessory power of the saints. It takes less than 5 minutes, but impacts your whole day for the better.
PRAY
Gather together and say a Hail Mary.
ANCHOR TO A SAINT
Choose a saint to anchor to for the day. Each person can select a saint from My Virtue Chart or a favorite saint. Let that saint’s example and intercession guide your thoughts, words, and actions as you practice the day’s virtue.
SHARE WHY
Take turns sharing a simple reason for your anchor. For younger children: “I’m anchoring to St. Francis today because he loved Jesus so much.” For older children: “I’m anchoring to St. Cecilia because she showed faithfulness even when she had to give up her life.”
READ VIRTUE CARD
Then read one of the Virtue Cards together (for example faithfulness). These bite-size reflections take you through the 28 days, and give clear explanations of the virtues with practical ideas on how to live virtue everyday.
ENCOURAGE
The Virtue Cards and saint also serve as gentle reminders you can return to throughout the day. If a child is struggling with motivation to do a chore or complete schoolwork, you can encourage them: “Remember, we’re anchoring to St. Cecilia today and practicing faithfulness”. When their work is done, reward them with a sticker for faithfulness, next to St. Cecilia on the chart.
This daily rule of anchoring to the saints helps make practicing and celebrating virtue a natural part of your family’s framework.
REWARD
Stickers offer immediate, positive acknowledgment when virtue is practiced. This builds the habit without relying on treats or negotiation. The jewels and stars connect daily efforts to our heavenly crown, teaching that virtue is its own reward.
Whenever you notice virtue in action (like a child patiently holding the door for someone, someone using a kind word instead of a sharp one, seeing chores or schoolwork being done without being asked...the list goes on!) celebrate it right away with specific praise and a sticker.
The goal of three stickers per day is simply a realistic, encouraging target to help affirm progress, but is not a limit on how often you notice goodness. You can (and should!) praise and celebrate virtue throughout the entire day whenever you see it.
REDEMPTION
My Virtue Chart is never punitive. Missed days and mistakes are completely normal— especially when you’re learning and growing. Never remove stickers in anger, and never compare siblings.
Instead, use these moments as opportunities to regroup and model reconciliation. Come together, offer forgiveness, and—as my oldest daughter beautifully puts it—“replant the tree”. Then we say: Nunc Coepi, “Now I begin again” (pronounced NOONK CHEH-pee) (footnote 2).
These simple words remind everyone that growing in virtue always includes grace-filled restarts.
The Power of the Physical: Why Tangible Tools Matter
In our digital age, it’s easy to underestimate the quiet power of physical, tangible experiences—writing you name on a real chart, placing a sticker, passing around a holy card, or gathering together without screens. These moments engage the whole person in ways digital tools often do not.
My Virtue Chart Kit is intentionally designed to be tangible because God made us to learn, remember, and grow through our senses and actions. Research shows that paper-based tools and hands-on activities often lead to better memory, stronger emotional connection, and greater follow-through (footnote 3).
Gathering around My Virtue Chart builds real relationship and accountability. Eye contact, smiles, and shared celebration create bonds far deeper than any screen notification. Physically marking progress gives children a visible, lasting record of their growth as they build holy habits of the heart.
In a world full of screens and distractions, My Virtue Chart invites your family back into something real you can do together. It reminds us that the most important formation happens in the ordinary, sometimes messy moments of daily life. That's why My Virtue Chart matters. I hope it makes a difference for you and yours.
Shine on,
Catherine
Burnout Study: Ohio State University College of Nursing (2024). “The Power of Positive Parenting” report. https://nursing.osu.edu/news/2024/05/08/perfect-parent-study
Nunc Coepi. The phrase comes from Psalm 77:11 and became a beloved motto of saints and spiritual writers, most famously Venerable Bruno Lanteri, founder of the Oblates of the Virgin Mary. He would say: “If I should fall even a thousand times a day, a thousand times I will say Nunc Coepi—Now I begin again.”
Habit Formation Study. Lally, P., et al. (2010). “How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world.” European Journal of Social Psychology. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/ejsp.674 (UCL summary: https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2009/aug/how-long-does-it-take-form-habit)
